Chapter 37

Title: Discipline Committee

Perhaps the best bliss hidden in everyday life was the act of gazing at a TV screen like a dead man. Only recently have I begun to realize this.

Stopping the spinning of the brain and receiving purely visual information is the best relaxation. I could understand a bit of why my mind was happy to monitor my brain through electronics.

The feeling was subjective. A unique feeling that is unshakeable despite anyone’s opinion. There was no way to feel the “senses” of a person. It’s just as ridiculous as trying to look into another person’s eyes.

“Nii-chan, move.”

My sister, Ugin, tapped my leg as I was laying on the sofa.

“Kaa-san[1]. Ugin is gonna amputate my leg.”

“Yes, yes.”

My mother simply nodded and continued washing the dishes.

“I’ll bring over a saw, Nii-cha~n!”

“Don’t be an idiot. You sound like a girl I know.”

“Hehe. Tomorrow is Nii-chan’s cultural festival, right?”

“Yup, but…”

“I’mma go.”

“Eh? What about school?”

“It’s a Saturday and clubs are on Sunday, so I’ll be good.”

“Izzat so. Have fun.”

“Nii-chan, who are you going with?”

“No one. I’ll be patrolling the festival.”

“By yourself?”

“Nah, with Arina.”

“Hmm. So you’re just going with Arina, ain’tcha?”

“It’s not like that…”

“You’re kidding. right? You’re probably happy, huh?”

My sister was making fun of my relationship with Arina. And it was too late to stop her suspicions.

“I’m a bachelor.”

“Course you are. You’re not old enough to get married, after all.”

“…I just wanna drink tomato juice for the rest of my life. That’s all.”

“Your story changed. Is it cause of me that you like tomato juice?”

“I wonder. I’ve been drinking tomato juice ever since Ugin told me it’s good for me, but now I drink it cause it’s delicious.”

“Geh. That’s insane. I hate tomato juice. I can’t drink it.”

“You’re missing out on 80% of life.”

“I don’t wanna be living like that.”

If I were to run into Ugin while on patrol with Arina it would be troublesome. I can’t do anything about it, so for a day, I’ll trust in God.

Dear God, please manipulate the world for me so that I don’t run into Ugin tomorrow.

It was the day of the festival.

Unlike the usual gloomy mornings, there was a bright and hot feeling in my heart resembling hope.

The air was filled with energy and I felt like I was being swallowed up.

Even before the morning assembly started, my classmates were busy moving around. At 9 am it was open to the public, so there were already people in cosplay. My class in particular was temporarily in chaos. The ages and worldview of the class were temporarily jumbled, and the scenery I aimed for had been perfectly created.

Makoto was still a centaur. He wore shorts, an aloha shirt, and a horse mask. Perhaps it would have been more accurate to call him a reverse centaur. He didn’t need to be wearing it at this moment, but he had it on regardless. It had become one with his body.

“Hey, reverse centaur. How ya doing?”

“I’m feeling better than I ever have before. It feels like I’m gonna explode.”

“If you feel like you’re about to explode, go to the bathroom.”

“All right. I’ll like it.”

What the fuck? He’s hopeless.

After the assembly, my classmates moved on to their own activities. The open house would begin soon.

Hurriedly, I left the classroom and made my way over to the stuco room.

On my way there, I bumped into Arina.

“Yo.”

“Your face looks terrible this morning.”

“Don’t say that. I’ll be counting on you today.”

“Mm.”

She gave me a bland reply with an equally bland expression.

But I know.

Arina carried a large bag with both of her hands on the way to school.

I knew.

It was all clothing.

She tried to act disinterested, but was actually being honest. It seemed that Arina’s spirit of doing things because she must is still alive and kicking.

Arriving at the student council, I took out my armband.

It had “Public Morals” written on it.

I put it onto my left arm.

“Hey. Why’s it in English?”

“I don’t know. It’s pretty embarrassing.”

“It’d be fine if it was the usual. Is that what prez wants?”

“He must be a pretty stupid president.”

“Idiot, he can hear you.”

I drowned out his voice with my ranting. It must have looked like a bunch of cavemen dancing around me.

It was supposed to be a cultural festival, so let’s keep it peaceful.

Outside the window, there were people everywhere.

I knew it was 9 am when I saw people lumbering through the school gates.

The signal for the start of the festival was done by the broadcasting club, who echoed it throughout the school.

“The festival has begun!”

The student council members started to move for the opening event.

That’s why we started to act as well.

“Okay, let’s head over to the gym first.”

“You want to go to the opening?”

“Yep. The school gets pretty quiet during it. I don’t feel like patrolling around, so we’re going to the gym first.”

“All right then. Let’s go, insect.”

I couldn’t be bothered to offer her a tsukkomi.[2]

Sakaki Sui and Hiwa Arina have truly become the guardian deities of the school as they roamed the halls with “Public Morals” displayed on their arms.

I’m not sure if that was a cool thing to say, but maybe they’re just bored people.

As for me personally, I’m fortunate to have escaped the act. To be honest, it was a pain in the ass.

The feverish enthusiasm in the gym was nigh ridiculous.

People crowded into an area shielded from light by black curtains.

The stage was light, and each club was doing tricks and dancing in order to promote themselves.

The students were also in high spirits and shouted whenever someone on stage said something. The enthusiasm I didn’t usually feel was overwhelming. Some of them even held glowing sticks. (Later, I learned that these things were called cyalume sticks.)

During the badminton club’s introduction, Makoto was wearing his horse mask. I didn’t get it. I had known it was too late for him, but at that point, it was like a different person. Even members of the badminton club laughed. To my side, Arina wryly remarked, “I think I’d rather have horse sashimi.”

Arina and I leaned our backs against the wall as we watched the opening. She seemed tired of all the people.

“You wanna get going?”

“It’s fine. It’s not bad.”

I hope you’re right.

As for me, I was worried that her participation in the fashion show would be affected.

I’ll try and see what I can do.

The best way to get even with her is for me to be in a front seat. She definitely didn’t want to be seen. I’m sure she’ll be so upset she’ll fall. And when that happens, I’ll pick her up and snap her back into place.

The stuco members seemed to be on schedule and things were going well so far. As someone involved with them, I had a pretty good idea of how things were proceeding.

In other words, the opening was almost over.

It ended with a band performance as the finale. Then, the festival started with the closing remarks of President Seki Jun.

“Should we get going?”

“Yes.”

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And in the name of public morals, we began acting as the guardian deities of the festival.

Notes:

[1] TLDR it means mum

[2] An owarai term, refers to the act of playing the straight man in a joke

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