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Chapter 37: Childhood Trauma

Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios

Thinking of her parents’ marriage in her previous life, Youguang couldn’t help but feel a little gloomy.

In an instant, it felt as if the snow had not fallen on her body but straight into her heart. It was so cold that it made her shiver.

She shuddered and let go of Xia Youqing’s hand, then wrapped her arms around herself.

The young couple were each other’s first love. Ning Yi and Xia Youqing had predicted the beginning of their relationship but not the end of it.

At the beginning of their relationship, neither knew this—being together did not only signify completeness, it also represented a beginning, and beginnings meant that there were infinite possibilities for the relationship in the future.

It could either be growing old till the end of time, or be embroiled in a rocky marriage.

They just had to be the latter.

Being madly in love at the beginning does not imply a happy ending for any couples.

Xia Youqing and Ning Yi’s marriage failed because they did not know how to get along.

Putting aside the sweetness of being in love, the two of them got along like a disaster in the days that followed. They could have disagreements and conflicts at any time and place.

How tolerant are young people really?

No matter how intense the love was at peak of their youth, it inevitably cooled down due to the increasing conflicts between them.

They couldn’t live together anymore, but for various reasons, they couldn’t separate from each other completely.

So the two of them could not find warmth in each other, and ended up being attracted into another toxic relationship that was disguised and laced with sugar. One after another, they continued running down the wrong emotional path into an endless abyss, unable to turn back forever.

In their previous lives, they had loved, hated, argued, fought, despised, cursed, betrayed each other, supported and relinquished each other…

They were the two closest people in the world, but they ended up showing the worst qualities of human nature to each other.

If not for the fact that she was their daughter, Ning Youguang could not imagine that such a glamorous looking couple could reveal so much of their dark sides to each other.

And worst of all, they made no effort to hide it from their favorite child..

How ironic?

However, the sad thing was that for a long time in her previous life, her parent’s relationship had clearly festered to the point of being riddled with holes. If she had thought more for herself, she should have endured the pain and cut off this piece of rotten meat. She should not have held onto it and kept it in her bleeding heart. Or even dream of feeding it with her own strength, to restore it to health and make it whole again. As a result, while she grew up quickly in her previous life, she was also living under a huge black shadow. She was living in pain for her entire life.

Unfortunately, even though she tried so hard to make this piece of rotten meat better, it still abandoned her in the end.

In her previous life, when her parents divorced, she had blamed them in the beginning.

But later on, she resented no one.

Because she knew it hadn’t been easy for any of them, either.

Can you say they’re not parents?

Not really. They’re just two giant babies.

In her previous life, whenever she was with Xia Youqing, she often heard her complain about her father.

At that time, she still did not know how to perceive the relationship between her parents. She always thought that her mother was the weaker party and that her father was the one at fault. She was very unhappy with him.

Her father became more mature later on, and had more awareness of being a father. Even though he had tried his best to please her and treat her well, she continued being lukewarm towards him. This made their father-daughter relationship distant.

In her previous life, there was something that she couldn’t get over. She had given a lot of passion and love to Xia Youqing but that didn’t do much for their mother and daughter relationship.

Xia Youqing fell in love when she wanted to, got married when she wanted to, and had children when she wanted to. She had never asked for her thoughts or opinions.

Later, she understood.

It was her mother who should take the brunt of the blame for their broken family.

To put it nicely, Miss. Xia was just being herself.

To put it bluntly, she was selfish. She only thought about herself.

But who could blame her?

Nobody could.

After all, not everyone was seven months old when their mother passed away.

People who lacked maternal love since they were young would not be able to love when they grew up.

She’s quite a poor soul too.

She always felt that others had let her down and that her own misfortunes were caused by others. But what she didn’t know was that the source of her misfortunes was herself. Because she lacked the ability to love.

And what about Ning Youguang as a daughter?

She was another by-product of a lack of maternal love. She had a mother but yet she could not obtain true motherly love.

It wasn’t that Xia Youqing didn’t love her. She just didn’t know how.

Just as one had no way of asking another to give her what she didn’t have. For example, she would have no way of asking for love from Xia Youqing.

Therefore, in her previous life, she couldn’t get over this for twenty to thirty years. In the end, she had to heal herself and learn to love herself.

But …

Feeling somewhat amused, Youguang thought,

“What about herself?”

No matter how hard she tried to work on her personal growth, her emotional experience in her previous life was still blank.

It was really hard to say if she would pass on the lack of maternal love to her next generation.

So when she was reborn, the first thing she did when she woke up was to get her parents divorced. At the same time, she had no intention of interfering in her parents’ future relationship.

She had worked hard all her life. She had no regrets.

So many years of experience had told her.

Everyone had to go through a predestined cycle.

If anyone did not want to reincarnate, they could only try to save themselves. Otherwise, no gods could save them.

After letting go of Xia Youqing’s hand, Youguang fell silent.

Xia Youqing had always been careless and insensitive towards the emotions of the people around her. Besides, once she got into the car, she was busy looking at her phone and texting someone.

She was unaware that her daughter’s thoughts had long since erupted into a tsunami that no one knew existed. Despite the short car ride, those thoughts were creating huge waves that buried her in a dark abyss.

“Where to next, Miss?” After safely placing the food container in the trunk of the car and settling himself in the driver’s seat, the driver asked Xia Youqing, who was seated at the back.

“I don’t know. Ask Youguang,” Xia Youqing replied without looking up.

“Miss You You?” The driver had no choice but to look at Ning Youguang.

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“Check on your phone and look for an animal shelter. We’ll drop the food there,” said Youguang distractedly.

“Ah, checking for animal shelters on the phone?” The driver seemed embarrassed. He didn’t quite understand what Little Miss was saying.

Seeing the driver’s confused expression, Youguang just realized that this was not the era where smartphones were used.

Cell phones at this time could only be used to make calls, send text messages, play games, and so on. They could not access the web.

“Oh, I’m sorry, It was a slip of my tongue. Why don’t you drive around and we’ll stop when we see any animal shelters along the way.”

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Chapter 37